i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
