i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
