So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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