On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
