Don't make out with my wife yet
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize