real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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