I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
