this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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