Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
