Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize