Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
