they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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