speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
