I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
