so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
