We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
