Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
