Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize