Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
