And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
BRING THE BAGELS
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
