a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize