Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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