i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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