is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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