My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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