I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
