How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize