remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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