i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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