He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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