My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
