Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
