Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
