Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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