There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
