did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize