I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
