For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
