just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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