there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The power of my boobs compel you
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
