I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
