operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
