you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
