I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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