where am i from again
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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