And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
