can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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