I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
