I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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