Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just had sex bonerless
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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