I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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