Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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