Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I love you.
Bad choice
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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