i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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