laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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